Hubba hubba

I feel kinda bad. I feel like I have been really bothering someone, and I don't want this person to get the wrong impression. I haven't known this person very long. What I do know of this person, I really like. Though I know I'm not the only one interested in this person, and this person is probably interested in many different people ... I don't know. I just don't want this person to get the wrong idea about me. I think I will leave this person alone for awhile ...

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I'm not really a bad person. I've been through hell and back more times than I can count. I've packed a lot of living in my 40 years! I just am tired. Tired of being alone. Tired of not having someone to talk to, to tell my deepest, innermost thoughts to. Tired of sleeping in a bed that is much to big for one person. Tired of not having someone there, where words aren't even needed, the silence itself is comfortable...

People aren't perfect. I know that. So I'm not looking for a knight in shiny (or rusty) armor to come along and sweep me off my feet. I know that's not going to happen. I just wish there was someone out there willing to take a chance on me, on getting to know the real me. Loving me for who I am. Not looking at the outside, and stopping there, unwilling to look any further. No, I'm not a Barbie doll; I am a flesh and blood woman, with the needs and wants and feelings every woman has.

I'm waxing philosophical tonite, I suppose. I feel a bit down, not to the point of tears, but almost. It's been a long day, a long week, a long month, a long year. I look around me and I see so many happy people; their lives are full of love; they have someone to journey through life with.

I'm lonely!

I'm not going to grab ahold of the first person who comes along in a death grip or anything like that. Far from it. But it would be nice to at least have that option!

I just want the opportunity to have someone to hold hands with. To go for a walk in the rain with. To watch the sun set over a lake with. To cook dinner for them. To give them a back rub (and get one in return!). To laugh with them. To cry with them. To snuggle with on a cold night. To pretend to be scared of a horror movie and snuggle deep into their arms. To sleep in their arms, content, knowing that person would never let anything harm me. To wake up with that person, watch the sun come up .... you know?

Tonite I'm just really down. I feel like I've failed at life, at love ...

I wish ...

I wish that I could find my soul mate, the one that holds the other piece of me, and treasures it. I've dreamt about him for years ... I know he is out there, somewhere, searching for me as earnestly as I search for him ...

Come and find me ... I'm waiting ...